a thorn in my flesh
is not because of my weakness,
not because of my mistakes
it is not always something I have pierced my own self with 

it might simply be
just humanity
that I have been pierced with a thorn
but humanity,
Christ redeems
Christ understands

humanity,
Christ has walked in

and if I could do it on my own,
I wouldn’t need the cross
like I do.

I am adding some commentary to this poem because my thoughts are overflowing lately. Each day when I wake and before I rest my head, I feel piercing fear and doubt. Ok, that is maybe a little dramatic, but maybe it is not. Have I just proven my point? What I wish I believed, I do not. Because I fear it is not true. What I wish I would stop believing, it seems, I do not. Because I fear that it is true.

But there is only One true thing, One true Person.

I spiral and sprint and spill into my own self. And I am only just realizing that all that I do to be right and true and perfect and whole is a naive undermining of the person of Jesus. If I could do it on my own. If I could save myself, I wouldn’t need the cross. But I do.

a thorn cannot undermine the person of Jesus Christ, it is just humanity. but I can. I can undermine the person of Jesus, and I have.

p.s. I don’t know why the word undermine came to my mind, but I can’t think of a better word to convey this thought. Though, after reading the definition of the word, I think it’s important to say that the power of Christ is great and unchanging. I think, though, this does express this thought quite well. I think sometimes we tell ourselves that we are too much to be saved. But in that same breath, are we not saying that the Cross is not enough for us? And surely, surely it is.

much love, JG