most days I sleep until noon
because I am afraid of doing what I hope I might do

I could be the president
I could sing on a stage
I could even take a new class or two
I could run in the winter
or bake something new,
I'm afraid of doing what I hope I might do

I could write a new post
or decorate the walls
I could find a new home
or find a new job
I could start a new brand
or write a new script
but

most days I sleep until noon 
because I am afraid of doing what I hope I might do

when I was younger, I genuinely believed I could be the president. didn’t we all? think we do something great; save the world, or at least one person. now, every day feels like climbing out of insecurity. convincing myself to do any one thing. noon is an exaggeration, but I really do sleep much later than I used to. I dream much smaller than I used to. I think much less of myself than I ever did before. and that, I know, is an awful thing.

                   climbing out of insecurity 
                   stripping off the doubt
                   on the days I feel I can do nothing,

this collection of thoughts ends here now. I hope I make it out of the insecurity and the doubt.

JG